About Me:

I started down this path in 6th grade. I had just started a new school and been fortunate to spend a time that summer at the Bronx Zoo, learning about animals, and how zookeepers design enclosures and activities to train them and keep them stimulated. It was a very different from my previous school, and when one of the teachers made a comment about people that directly contradicted my lived experience, I remember looking around the class and seeing many of my classmates nodding along. At that moment I had the realization that each and every one of us is shaped by our environment, what we experience and feel, in the exact same way as a monkey in a zoo. At that moment I decided that I could do anything that I wanted, but I wanted to be fully aware of why I was doing it, and what I was thinking.

If that sounds like mindfulness, it was, but without any of the self-compassion or generosity that is included in the Buddhist tradition. I was a harsh critic, full of self-loathing, and a perfectionist to the point of frequently feeling paralyzed. But it wasn’t all bad! My desire to understand myself better and attempt to unflinchingly acknowledge my shortcomings led me to some marvelous experiences.

Doing flying trapeze helped me overcome a fear of heights and taught me that I didn’t have to define myself by my fears and perceived limitations. Teaching the general public flying trapeze taught me patience, deeper levels of empathy, and how to explain things in different ways for people who process the world differently, while also allowing me to experience being really good at something I loved. I also learned how much I love to support and guide people through difficult moments and transitions, and I am grateful I was able to work with thousands of people.

Flameworking (a handheld form of glassblowing) helped me learn how to value myself more deeply, to plan ahead and think through problems from multiple angles, and to develop an artistic side I didn’t know existed.

However, I still struggled with deep bouts of depression that lasted for months to years, I regularly felt worthless, and I struggled to accomplish most of what I wanted to. I saw at least 8 therapists over the years, I was medicated for depression and ADHD, and eventually was diagnosed with CPTSD. I was fortunate to have some very good therapists who helped me tremendously over the years, but it just wasn’t reaching as deep as I thought it needed to, and I didn’t want to be in therapy for my whole life.

Eventually something tipped me over the edge and I finally felt like staying where I was was truly intolerable. I discovered Clinical EFT and learned how to do it by myself, and I haven’t stopped since. I had practiced Daoist Inner Alchemy for years but my background in empirical science prevented me from taking it seriously enough to get most of the benefits. As I learned about how EFT works and how energy flows through the body I was inspired to take another look and now I practice several times a day. I have found this combination to be truly life-changing and enhancing. It has helped process so much of my trauma and see the world more clearly, to be less reactive, less angry, and more compassionate towards other people without abandoning myself and my needs.